So, it has been quite a long time since I've update! A lot has happened. But in reality, a large chunk of it is completely irrelevant(or not my business to share).
BUT, I have found I can update via my iPod, which opens up a whole new realm of possibilities! I'm ditching the whole formatting of the posts simply because it is a bunch of completely unnecessary work for me. Any-who, let's get to it!
So, as it does every single year, the youth retreat helped me so much. This year was a weird one, that is for sure. It was a little like déjà vu. I came to the retreat after been hospitalized exactly 2 years after my first time, and watched everything unfold in front of me. And, again, God refused to give up on me. One of the big differences was that, because I knew better, He wasn't easy on me. (Praise God, 'cause Lord knows I didn't deserve babying) I had to make a lot of changes in order to get my life back on track. I had to focus on the most important relationship, mine and my savior's.
I ended up dropping friends, deleting music, and working with managing my thoughts. Some may say, "Oh my, don't you think that is a bit much? I mean, your friends? MUSIC? Why music? It doesn't do anything!"
My answer: No, it isn't too much. In fact, there would be more if I could think of anything else!
As far as my friends go, well... You see, you become who you are around. I no longer wanted to be around constant swearing, dirty jokes, and other miscellaneous activities. Were they bad people? No. We're they supportive of my faith? As much as they could be when they believed other things. I'm just not where I need to/want to be that would allow the friendships to continue.
And music.... Ahh music. You see, what you put into you is what will come out. You say "Ohhhh, no way! I just listen to it!"
Just wait. You'll sing along. You'll begin to speak as they do in the lyrics. You'll become desensitized to what they say. Soon enough, it'll be okay. So, imagine if you were listening to music that glorified partying. Soon enough you'll be saying,"Whatever, it is just a song. Oh, that music video is so cool. Her outfit is so cute! That would be fun."
Yeah, you are probably sitting there saying,"Kay, sure Joanna. TOTALLY GOING TO HAPPEN."
Ever notice some of the people who like Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj or Katy Perry? How they act? How they dress? How they speak?
No, not everyone, but a large population of the fans do. They become what they love. "Where your treasure is, so shall your heart be."
Anyway, I digress.
So, do I miss my music? Yes, sometimes. But I haven't slipped up. Would it be okay if I slipped up?
Well, my Pastor was talking the other week about addictions/trying to quit things. It really helped me because he was talking about how much achievement is made when you've gone any amount of time without doing something you had always done. He said all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, ask God to help you, and try again. One day, you'll be able to say you did it. Imagine how wonderful that'll feel!
Well, there was another thing I wanted to talk about. It has been on my heart to encourage certain people. Then again, it seems like I'm always wanting to encourage/help people. I just have the heart for that. Using my experiences/the words God puts in my heart to speak/write.
Just tonight, I began to write, and ended up with a page and a half(ish) letter. I let God flow. Let him take control. It was funny to see what I was writing, and realize how much of it I needed to hear myself.
It is pretty funny that, while writing this, I came to realize Pastor taught on this a few weeks ago too. When you are not doing well, when you are in need, encourage/bless someone else. It'll help you more than you help them, even if you don't realize it.
You may not even think you needed it, but He knows. He knows long before you ever will, and he is just looking for ways to help you, bless you, and guide you because he loves you so much.
Never, ever forget that.
That is all I have to say tonight. I hope I have helped someone. I hope this made sense. Haha, I just write. I don't proof, I don't plan, I just flow.
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